I will find the truth in my mind, and I can’t fail if I let go of what I only thought was real and through forgiveness find that pearl, at a seeming great cost, and then have a real gift forever!

Lessons 145, 146, and 147. My mind only holds what I think with God, and lessons (145) Beyond this world is a world I want and, It is impossible to see two worlds. (146)No one can fail who seeks to find the truth, and I loose the world from all I thought it was. Plus (147) I will not value what is valueless, and Let me perceive forgiveness as it is

I am writing this blog to incorporate, utilize and demonstrate how these three daily lessons in the workbook for students section of A Course in Miracles, can be brought to a practical demonstration, and in this case using “me” as an example.

Yesterday morning, one of the women that I live with, within our community home, was reminding me that the weather was going to be gorgeous for the day, but that the next day was going to be raining again, and that the “family” would appreciate it if I were to get my appointed chore of mowing the lawn around our home completed today as to better serve the other members of our household with the planting and weeding of the garden. I knew she was right, (although my knee jerk reaction in my wrong mind was more of “oh for %&*#s sake!!!) At the same time I had been planning on getting the blog done that I usually do in the mornings. Man oh man, what a world! Beyond this world is a world I want is right!!! I had some other plans already in motion as a friend and I had already decided to go for a hike in an earlier communiqué via text messaging  that very day, and it came down to a first things first kind of thing. First you get the chores done around the home, and then go for the adventure with your mighty companion in the afternoon.

I then got a call from my brother telling me that the server for my website was going to be down for a while for my website to make adjustments, and so, this being the case I commenced with the chores. Further along while I was going about my “due diligence” as a member of community, I had the insight of knowing that it is not possible to arrive at truth and ignore consciousness. As we all know this kind of stuff just pops into your head from nowhere, and then you just smile and proceed. Some folks call it a prompt, some call it a nudge, and others say it is a thought from your Higher Self, or God. Generally speaking it is what’s called intuition. It’s a win, win situation, and you can’t fail, just follow the proverbial yellow brick road to take you home. For me, it was just another example of the lesson that “no one can fail who seeks to reach the truth” in a practical application.

In my case I had to haul out the lawn mower that had not been used for about a year, and I hauled it out of storage where it was in the cold temperatures of Northern Canada, and it was certainly not starting up. So I had to fiddle and fuss with its mechanics and wires and plugs for about an hour and check all the components and clean this and that, and it was still not firing up! My fear steps in and comes out as a secondary emotion called anger, and I am a very good actor, and so was behaviorally calm while my mind was thinking angry stuff. Ah yes, the good old Jekyll and Hide routine! After rechecking everything over twice and continually cleaning as I went the unit started to look brand new! I seem at times to have to wait for a moment of desperation before I ask my Higher Power for help, and I did, and it was then that I realized that the mower was in a position on the grass that was still sodden with rain from the night before. The humidity or wetness from that was preventing a spark to occur to ignite the engine. I placed it in the early morning sunlight on the cement pad and left if for a while to go and have a coffee and a smoke, and just let go for a while. That’s cool though, as it is an exercise in patience in a symbiotic relationship with a machine. In my mind it was a kind of like a “Holy Encounter.” That lawn mower was an extension of me, and as one, we just wanted to get the job done. After my little respite from the situation, I came back to the scene and primed the engine, and pulled the start cord on the top of the unit. Voila! And nothing happens. I primed it again, pulled the cord, and nothing! This little love affair went on for quite a while and when she finally did roar into life after sitting in a waterless situation for a while, and getting dried out, it was a real hoot! I almost got down on bended knee and wanted to kiss her, but I knew that if I did that the folks in the house would think that I’d really hit the big time now!

If perchance I had done that positioning of the machine in the sunlight right from the start there would have been no problem! I only thought there was a problem with the machine where there really was none! As any mechanic will tell you, when working with machinery, at times you have to let go of any preconceived notions of why something is not functioning, and so in a sensible way, I loose the world from all you thought it was, simply because you don’t know, but are willing to find out, the heart or truth of the matter. It is hard to believe at times that the problem and the answer are always in the same place, but they are. There is the right mind, (the real world) or the wrong mind, (the illusory world) and between those two ideas is the decision maker, and through trial and error we become conscious of the power of that, the only real power we have is decision, and hence become more and more willing to choose once again. You are complete and total, but we forgot/forget that somehow! ( it does not matter how, your only responsibility is to correct the mistake or sometimes called sin.) and now we are starting to, or becoming more awake! We are seeing people, places, things, and events in this recreated world a lot differently than before. I am not a victim of the world I see, and I just start to see it with my right mind, and with the help of what I call the Holy Spirit, I am then able to see with the right mind. It is then that I start to realize that Heaven is being extended from my Divine Right Self onto the world. Wahoo! It is so cool when I know this because I have experienced this, and that it is impossible to see two worlds. I start to understand that there really are not limitless choices but only two. One or the other; God either is or God is not. What is valuable, or valueless? I am still in the same place as the day I was born, and I still have my friends, and all the other worldly stuff that I need or want, and that I can end up with a new kind of illuminated consciousness, that I have a mind that realizes that I have a source that I don’t have to understand, (just like a baby with its mother, or a child with its father) that is willing to help me perceive “all that is” in a spontaneous, powerful new way. What a trip! What an adventure, and what a life. I am no longer a walking, talking dead man, or brain washed robot. I am as God created me, whole and complete. I start to understand and know that rest does not come from sleeping, but from waking up!

So, I did get that chore done, the women in my home were pleased, the Mighty Companion did show up, we did have a great walk, we each had a coffee and some pastry, and I did get to hear the Holy Spirit talk through her! The message was loud and clear! Get your small self out of the way, so that great gifts can come! The other message which she always says is to get into the present, or now, because the present is the gift!

I will not value what is valueless, tastes pretty simple in the cafeteria of life. I tend to steer clear of the cakes and cookies, and other junk food that are laid out on the table primarily because I want to stay healthy. But every once in a while, I just can’t resist that ice cream, and I know that if I have one bite of it, I’ll develop in a short time the phenomenon of craving. It will be a case of “I bet you can’t just have just one scoop” scenario. And then I’ve taken the bait, and eat lots of it, too much in fact, knowing full well that it’s gonna have some weird side effects, in my case, a lot of agitation at the body level that usually comes out as excess excitability! I don’t think as clearly, and I almost always regret my choice of food at that particular time when I could’ve had vegetables, or fish, or whatever else was on the buffet, that was worthwhile for long-term nutrition. Even though I know from experience that the chocolate bar, the bottles of soda pop, and bags of potato chips we’re not conducive to good health, I ate them anyways. The result was always short-term pleasure followed by long term upset. It is when I am persistent in eating that kind of stuff for a long time that it can have some serious ramifications. The most common being obesity, all kinds of functioning in the body that goes awry, and now, I am dealing with a habit that has somehow turned into an addiction, slavery if you will, to the body, whereby I’ll take the short-term pleasure over the long-term pain knowing full well the harm that what it will cost me, and living in a diametrically opposed way of thinking knowing that I could have made a different choice. Once again the Jekyll and Hyde scenario shows up which is mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting. To behave one way, and to know another is extremely tiring, and most folks need, even in this illusory world, at least eight hours of sleep to recover from the day! Eventually I’m faced with having to go on a diet which I find very hard to keep, but knowing that if I don’t keep it, I’m just going to get sick, and then it’s extreme application, it will kill me. Yikes! I’m not going to go into a 50 page dissertation on addictions, or slavery, or bad habits because if you are reading this you already understand this. Simply put: Tolerance for pain may be high, but it is not without limit!  It would entail changing my mind and learning I will not value what is valueless; decisions to either choose the valuable, or the valueless. Without help it is going to be too much for me, but there is one that has All Power, and being desperate, I am either going to live or die by my choice. What’s it going to be? It’s just a tiny mad idea! It’s like a born again non smoker telling a smoker to just quit, or someone who has never smoked advising “Just say NO!” The answer is surely obvious! Just as bizarre as a teetotaler telling a beta alcoholic to just stop drinking! It’s like a thin guy saying to an obese person to just stop eating so much! These are all answered in truth, but a sick mind does not know that!

I personally use to drink booze like a fish, but have not had a drop for many moons. I have suffered from many other addictions but they just fell away after realizing they were all a mistake. I had made the illusion a reality for me, and at one time I just could not imagine living without alcohol, much as some folks can’t imagine having no money. Some people can’t imagine being without their mate, or clothes, or car, and the list goes on and on. What happened to me, and so many others is that She/He has made the error real to themselves.  We have all at times had or are experiencing addictions and if you don’t think you have had one, well, you were mistakenly put on this planet. What do you need that body you are in for anyways?  This is where I can let me perceive forgiveness as it is. I can loose the world from all I thought it was and choose my own reality instead. True forgiveness would not make the mistake of seeing anything as an adjective such as slave, addict, smoker, drinker, overeater, or any other insane term. The Spirit of Forgiveness would show any of us that there are only two choices, and those are being One, or the other. With the “other” category the choices are limitless. You can try as many ways as you want. All of those ways will never satisfy your true nature. In so many ways I am still in the “other” category myself, but I am determined to see things differently! The point is that I am willing to outgrow my mistakes, and I am looking at changing my ways as best I can with the help of my True Mighty Companion, The Holy Spirit. That force is not peculiar to me, that anointed one is similar to all of us! Call it whatever you want, the Great Spirit, the Funness of Oneness, Good Orderly Direction, The Christ Within, The Tao, Mother Nature, Universal Consciousness, it really does not matter. Words don’t mean much anyways, but your intention of being honest with your Self will get you anywhere.

Right now in my life, my adventure of being here on this planet, I am faced with a similar dilemma. The Spirit of Love has given me a great gift to go to a place on a 10 day silent retreat. This was given to me from the Holy Spirit via a good friend I have. In a proper choice to go here I will be amongst other folks, that have a sincere desire to overcome their negative aspects via removing themselves from all sorts of the temptation’s of the world. They are voluntarily going to relinquish their cell phones, their books, their coffee drinking, pill taking, vitamins, smoking, computers, money, property, power, prestige, fame, fortune, medications, chants, beads, icons, clothing, make -up, fancy or revealing clothes and all other manner of bodily/worldly distractions/concerns. The exceptions are sleep, sanitary care items, shaving gear, and proper nutrition. The ten day silent retreat will serve as a platform to become much more aware of just how dependent they, and I, have grown on all kinds of egoic distractions that the dark side of themselves has persisted in over the years, which has been trying to find happiness in the “outside of the mind” (worldly, dualistic) circumstances for a long time.

There is just one glitch in this whole “Gift” at this mindfulness retreat that I have been given by the Holy Spirit that I don’t like at all! I have been a smoker since the age of 13 years and I am now a 61 year old smoker, and I can’t recall ever having gone more than two days without a cigarette, and that was only because I was locked up somewhere. I am also an avid fan of coffee, and coffee without a cigarette makes no sense to me whatsoever.  I currently smoke about 10 to 20 smokes a day. I usually drink about 3 to five cups of coffee per day. In other words I am a nicotine/caffeine addict. (That sounds so harsh, and yet, that is what guys like me are called! After all, I am a slave to those two things!) They don’t allow either of these substances into the retreat that I want, and I know (for sundry other reasons that would take another ten pages to describe) I need to go to. Now I am going to have to be honest. Either everything I have written in this blog is true, or it is all a pile of dung.  If it is all true, I won’t be smoking as of June 8, 2016 to meet my Heart’s desire. I won’t be drinking coffee on that date also. I am also reminding myself that there are only two choices and actually, that’s not true at all. There is only one choice. I want to go home.

The point of the whole exercise at the silent retreat for me will be the goal of knowing that this is the illusory world and that there is no out there- “out there”! It is all made up and I can choose to see this differently.

Have fun, and please leave a comment. I sincerely want to know what you think. You are my teachers and I want to learn!


5 thoughts on “I will find the truth in my mind, and I can’t fail if I let go of what I only thought was real and through forgiveness find that pearl, at a seeming great cost, and then have a real gift forever!”

  1. I love it when you wrote: “To behave one way and to know another is extremely tiring”…….thank you for articulating all these hilarious dilemnas…….they’re hilarious because all it is is a bunch of ego-squirming!

  2. Thank you again for sharing Mark.
    I admire your willingness to really observe and be as honest as possible as quickly as possible.
    I’m still using the old self deception route before arriving at honesty, not as much as I used to admittedly but it’s still there.
    I inevitably end up falling back on my secondary emotion, anger, instead of admitting that I am experiencing fear and then looking at it and realizing it as the illusion that it is.

  3. Hello Markie sparkie you have a way of words this time you filled in all of your ideas it is amazing I find that each of us as a path to go on in your lives but few take this path for myself I am learning how to see things differently and to trust the things that are right to me I want to learn who is in control myself I just see myself neither here or there I find myself learning about who I am

  4. Gday eh! Well I enjoy your written words more than your verbal stream of thoughts because I find your use writing for a purpose that you don’t use verbal communication for. In other words, with writing, your not bouncing your thoughts off of others to see how they react, think or feel. Writing is not an interactive process with another body that speaks back to the body you think you are. Writing is a process whereby the writer listens for direction from an inner voice, or Voice, or source or Source, but either way, as it is not a collaborative activity with an external body, it appears to me that in your case, writing is in service to a higher purpose than being in relationship with another. Of course all of this is simply my perception. And as such, is biased and in service to a bias. So you see asking me what I think about your writing is a fools game as all thinking is simply in service to the thinkers bias. Whoopee. The question is why do you value anyone’s or any perception at all? What is valuable about perception when at it very best all it can accomplish is to lead the perceiver towards only what he wishes to perceive. Thinking, while it appears to be a deductive process, a grand assessing of what is truth, is really a hoax. All thinking is designed to prove that what you deduce, (perceive) is real. Congratulations. You right because you want to be. So all 8 billion of us are right, wrong, and everything in between. And the hard part is to recognize that all of what we perceive, is a wish fulfillment that’s serving a purpose. The question is what purpose is my being right about you, the world or myself, serving? Chew on that one for a while? Imagine, every single one and all, are serving a purpose in the mind of the perceiver. Now the question becomes, how am I treating myself, the world and everyone in it, today? Oy vay er what! As our greet friend Krisnamurti said again and again, we must take responsibility for perception itself. And I hear ACIM saying, when we get to the point in our lives, where we want to take responsibility for every perception we have, more than we want anything else, we are well on our way Home. Now instead of perception being nothing more than my wish fulfillment, it becomes a case of my wish is to perceive all through the mind of the Holy Spirit. Oh happy day indeed. To say these words means nada, but to mean these words . . . well well well. End of story. May I mean these words in the midst of the storm, and if I falter or fail, may the Spirit remind me I Am that I Am

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